Trusting through Midnight

Lord,

Help me to seek you

in the hour of midnight,

when the fear arises

that my stagecoach

will quickly turn into a p u m p k i n,

and my beauty

to rags.

Help me to see

that your love perfected

casts light upon every shadow of doubt.

That the same love that drew me,

will keep me.

That if you are near,

the beauty will never fade;

it will only grow to become

more beautiful.

For in the moments that lead closer

to the ticking of midnight

my hands begin to s h a k e

as the hands of time press forward...

If only my soul would be at rest.

Who can quiet the anxious heart,

but you?

I am reminded.

Your hand, it holds the minute hand.

For it is not the clock that houses my fate -

It is you.

Stepping into that glass slipper,

takes faith.

But the truth is:

it fits,

and always did.

You were only just waiting for me

to try it on.

Hannah means "Grace", and Grace believes.

Barren.

"So it was, year by year, when she (Hannah) went up to the house of the LORD, that she (Peninnah) provoked her; therefore she w e p t and did not eat.."

As the other wife of her husband provoked her, Hannah wept.

She loved her husband, Elkanah, and the scriptures say that he too loved her- even in her barren state.

But Hannah just couldn't take it anymore; her husband says "Hannah, why do you weep? Why do you not eat? And why is your heart grieved? Am I not better to you than ten sons?"

So what did Hannah do? Did she look at her husband and say, "Honey, you're right. I do love you more than ten sons, so I will give up this burden that weighs on my heart and understand that it would be impossible for me to have what my heart so longs for."

No, she didn't.

She finished eating with her husband, and she arose. I believe not only did that mean she stood from where she sat, but internally she arose- she knew what she must do;

she took her heart of grief and poured it out to the Lord as an offering, and in her anguish the truth was revealed.

To Eli, the high priest she went..

".. and she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the LORD and wept in anguish. ¹¹ Then she made a vow and said, “O LORD of hosts, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your maidservant and remember me, and not forget Your maidservant, but will give Your maidservant a male child, then I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life.."

Broken.

Inside, and out.

And it's here in this place where the inner cry can be heard, and f e l t.

"Here it is God." I can hear her saying.

"I've got nothing left to give, but the brokenness of my soul.

I can't let go of this burden,

so here God, here it is."

And she makes a vow;

"God,

if you would only give me a son,

I will give him to you all the days of my life." As she weeps, and weeps, and weeps.

All of a sudden in the midst of her prayer her lips continue moving, but her voice is not heard.

Like a silent screaming of the heart.

"..And it happened, as she continued praying before the LORD, that Eli watched her mouth...

¹³ ... Hannah spoke in her heart; her lips moved, but her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli thought she was drunk. ¹⁴ So Eli said to her, “How long will you be drunk? Put your wine away from you!”

“No my Lord, I am a woman of sorrowful spirit.

I have drunk neither wine nor intoxicating drink, but have poured out my soul before the Lord.

So the woman went her way,

and ate,

and her face was no longer sad...”

Heard of God.

It wasn't until Hannah fully released her desires to the Lord that the distress of her heart relinquished.

She could feel again.

Eat again.

Smile again.

“ For out of the abundance of my complaint and grief I have spoken until now..”

Did she know that God would give her a son? No, no she didn't.

But did she ask God? Yes, yes she did.

She arose in a willingness to come to God with what burdened her most; and in that she was free.

They named this child Samuel... "heard of God."

Jesus said:

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."

This has to come from a willingness inside of us all to give it up to God,

to fully surrender.

And when you do?

Tell someone.

Rejoice.

Hannah goes back to Eli, full of praise and exaltation:

"..And she said, “O my lord! As your soul lives, my lord, I am the woman who stood by you here, praying to the LORD. ²⁷ For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition which I asked of Him. ²⁸ Therefore I also have lent him to the LORD; as long as he lives he shall be lent to the LORD.”

So they worshiped the LORD there.

Go to God with your anxious heart,

and lay the burden down.

As your weight is lifted

it just may bring the hope for someone else's to be lifted, too.

I can rest in that.

And my hope is that you can,

too.

Scriptures: Read 1Samuel: 1,2:)

This makes me... smile.

You chose me out of the things that are not

and led me into the place

that

i s..

In this place that is, there's a God that

i s.

Not only is, but was

and is yet

to c o m e.

You predestined me in love for the Glory

of Your Name's sake;

so that the whole world will know...

we're not alone.

All the single ladies, all the single ladies. (and you, too.)

I'm not sure that Beyonce had the WHOLE picture;

"If you like it than you should have put a ring on it."

In truth, it's more along the lines of ...

"If you don't mind looking over at me when we're 85 and can hardly stand on our own two feet, only to find my eyes hidden behind the wrinkles that surround them, and my pants a bit wet because I just can't seem to make it to the bathroom in time anymore; Then - you should put a ring on it."

__________________________________________________

Well, it's a good thing that God understands our desire to love and be loved (even beyond the point of granny diapers) and so adorns us with much more love than we can grasp.

Therefore, our hearts and minds can be set in living out the mystery of this love, so that even in the scariness of getting older- we're somehow always beautiful. Because when a thing is loved, that thing is beautiful.

So, for those of you who feel "singled out," fail not forget that being singled out just may mean more than you think.

Being called out, or singled out, is greater news than you could hope for.

"You are My witnesses,” says the LORD,

“And My servant whom I have chosen,

That you may know and believe Me,

And understand that I am He." -isaiah43:10

God calls us into Himself, in order that we be sent out. He chooses us to GO, and flow opposite the current of the world; which in turn can sometimes lead us to feel a bit.. single?

Yet, the beauty is in the covenant- the Promise of God that He will never leave us, and is coming back to take us where He has already prepared a place.

Not only do we have His Promise to hold on to, but we have Him. There is no greater gift that God could give us other than Himself. If He gave us anything less, He would be plain awful. To allow us in as children shows that truly none of us are "single" as the world defines being single.

It's a Marriage.
A Covenant.
A Friendship.

..."I no longer call you slaves, I call you friends." - Jesus. (John 15:15)

God has called us out on who we are, in order that we come to realize, well.. who we are. We are His, and the love He has shown us in Christ is sufficient to outlive any amount of beauty that we hold on the outside.

Truth is - He's coming back as your bridegroom- He did put a ring it. ln addition to the ring He gave, He proved His faithfulness by the ring that he wore. It didn't look as pretty as most rings do, it didn't glitter and it didn't shine. It sat along the middle of his forehead, and penetrated deep into the temples of his skull.

B u t ....

"They didn't take his life ..

he l a i d it d o w n." (a.peterson)

This ring is the one he bore so that you didn't have to. It may not have been glittering on the outside, but what glitters isn't gold. Yes, this crown upon him shines brighter than any of the passing riches of this world, and of more value than any amount of pure gold. This crown has proved the justice, mercy, grace, faithfulness and abounding love of the One who is worth it all.

So in the midst of what you think is loneliness, it may just be your opportunity to draw from His fountain overflowing. A time to see your "singleness" transformed.

He's been on bended knee for you since before the foundation of the world.

I hate to say it, but ...

Beyonce's got nothin on this.

A love story, revisited.

When I gave the toast at my sisters wedding, I talked about love (how incredibly remarkable, I know).

I did so by painting the picture with a very simple story.

I was doing the dishes at the kitchen sink, and Jenna was in the living room. All of a sudden from inside the other room, I hear...

"JOE!!"

Silence.

"JOE!!"

"JOE, COME IN HERE!!"

"JOE!!"

"JOE!!”

“JOE!

Did you see this, Joe?!"

Now, I’m not exaggerating, if you knew my sister you would understand.

I looked over at Arturo, Joes brother in law, who stood in the kitchen with me; we both smiled.

Not so much at the profound love connection between two human beings, but more honestly at my sisters incessant summoning, in all of its .... incessantness.

But just then, it clicked.

Love.

Quite simply, Jenna was looking at something;

and her j o y was not complete, until Joe was by her side enjoying it w i t h her.

I read a poem, and this was my instant experience.

All I wanted to do was share it; to have someone enjoy it with me.

In this I was brought back to this story, and I found it quite appropriate given that the wedding toast was given exactly one year ago today.

So, in honor of my sister - who wore well the shoes of a beautiful wife, and is now walking the road of a widow.

Thank you for inspiring me in your small and simple acts of love. You have always been a delicate soldier.

I pray that it’s His love you cling to. I hope you stay believing that as the chaos of life spins widely out of control- it falls right into His hands. And there's no better place.

This poem is a plea to Him, the Overseer of our souls, written with a true heart of flesh;

showing the nature of our astounding humanness.

So, without further ado ....

“WORLD!!!”

“WORLD!!!”
“WORLD!!!”

“WORLD, Come OVER HERE!”

“Have you READ THIS, World?!?”

;)

Found neatly tucked through the glorious doors of

The Rabbit Room

written by Andrew Peterson

http://www.rabbitroom.com/

(you should totally check it out.)

THANKSGIVING

(A CONFESSION AND A PLEA TO THE ALMIGHTY)

"O God, Magnificent Confounder,

Boundless in mercy and power,

Be near me in my apathy.

Be near me, Savage Dreamer,

Bright Igniter of Exploding Suns,

But not too near. I’d like to live,

By your grace, just long enough

To taste another perfect steak.

And to see my children marry,

And, perhaps, to pen a memoir.

Great redeemer of my lechery,

Bright Dawn of Blessed Hope,

Lay waste to every prideful thing,

Each black infraction of your law.

O Swirling Storm of Holy Anger,

Be patient with me. I’m certain

I will make a second gluttonous

Trip to the festal spread of food.

And I might as well admit, O King

Omniscient, I plan to make a third.

And that will lead to sloth, I know,

If only for the afternoon. Awake,

O sleeper! But not yet, not yet.

I want to dream a dream of light

In Heaven’s towering splendor.

I long, my Lord, to walk its streets

Or better yet, to drive them.

I’ve always wanted a motorcycle,

A cool one that blats and rumbles

Like a herd of flaming zebras.

I could totally impress the ladies

With my holy rolling zebra steed,

But only by your perfect pleasure,

Ruler of the angel armies, blaster

Of the horn of strength, would I ride

The golden highways awesomely.

O Wisdom of the Ages, speak!

Sing to me of secret knowledge

Open wide the gates of truth,

And let me learn it, by your grace,

Through the medium of television–

Smartly written situational comedy,

Perhaps, or an epic space opera.

Let me taste the honey of your word,

My beloved savior. Seriously. Save me

From my wit, my words, my songs,

My sin, my bad poems, my vanity,

My every single human impulse,

Except the ones I like and am able

To justify using my corruptible

Reason, my imperfect understanding,

And my belief in your inexhaustible

Forgiveness. When I awake, saintly,

I will consume a dish of pumpkin pie.

And, as I politely swallow a belch,

I will lean my heart on yours, Almighty,

To whom, alone, is due thanksgiving."

The Hand Wave

As the man in front of me half turned around, hand slightly waved in the air, I was wondering why he would be waving to me.

I had just woken up from an hour long nap on my flight back to Phoenix, and was at the stage of just “coming to.” The jet engines drown out a lot of noise, but as I stared at him in the middle seat in front of me I could tell he was saying something. I leaned my head in to catch his words with my nearer ear..

“My son!”.. he said.

I did the same uncomfortable half body twist to catch a glimpse of the young man sitting directly behind me. His dark wavy hair caught my eye first, and I then noticed that his headphones, along with the faint jet engine roar, drown the hope of his dad catching his his attention.

“Would you like me to get him for you?” I leaned up and asked the father, still waking up.

He let out a huge grin, and nodded,

“Yes.”

I turned around again, and waved toward the young boy; my hand more visible as I was seated a row closer.

“Your dad”, I said with a smile, so as not to alarm him, he’s trying to get your attention.

The boy popped up, and squirmed his way as high on his chair as he could. He caught his dad’s eye with a big smile, and the dad waved once more. His boy smiled ear-to-ear, and waved back.

We all resumed back to our original positions, and continued on where we had been. For me that meant pulling out my computer, to tell this story.

Why?

Because I found this fascinating.

I knew immediately that this seemingly ordinary situation was actually a representation of how God works in our lives.

We get distracted by the worlds headphones. These big earpieces weigh heavily on the gateway to our soul, blocking our ability to tune into the still small voice.

However, when the times comes in which we fall into the deep trance of the worlds music, He will use someone closer to us to come along and help tune us into the song of His voice.

Even if His message is as subtle as a hand wave, as to say;

“Hello child,

here I am.”